confession of a frozen gal...

"... Rasakan semua, demikian pinta sang hati.
amarah atau asmara, kasih atau pedih,
segalanya indah jika memang
tepat pada waktunya.
dan inilah hatiku,
pada dini hari yang hening.
bening. apa adanya." peluk-dee,rectoverso.



berasa hati gue aja yang berbicara.
sedih. ga sesedih itu siyh. tapi sedih. huhu.
ada sebuah penjabaran sedih yang ga bisa gue rangkai dengan kata-kata.
terlalu kompleks dan terlalu buram.
entah di sisi sebelah mana gue berada.
it's been months i never counted again myself since the last time i feline love.
how does it feel anyway?
emon sent me that baron song to remind me that feline love is beautiful, dont be afraid to fall again. well, i appreciate his effort to remind me how ive been very cold nowadays but im not afraid to fall, or too stupid not to realize that love is beautiful. i just havent get the chance to feel it again. not just yet.
then why am i feeling blue today?

'Once in a dream, I saw you telling me
That you've traveled in the dark
Just to find that little spot
How you'd settle for a light
In the vastness of the night
Then I saw some tears were coming from you eyes
As you said you'd found your paradise
And I began to ask you : why you have to cry ?

And now, it's so dreamlike I hear you telling me
It's been such a perfect grace; it's been such a perfect place
To be in my heart at last, and have angels singing you a song
As you see the tears are falling from my eyes
When you say I am your paradise
You smile and ask me: Why I have to cry ?

It's a journey, you say, an illusion of a journey
Now you can't see where it ends and where it starts
It's our life and our love that you wish to have,
where you wish to be
In this tiny spark of memory, mortality
What's left for me to do is to welcome you home
Back to my heart, back to heaven's light
Back to my heart, and we're never apart

And it's time for me to say goodbye to those eyes
To let you go so sleeplike and hear you whisper;
Why we have to cry?

It's a journey, you say, an illusion of a journey
Now you can't see where it ends and where it starts
It's our life and our love that you wish to have,
Where you wish to be
In this tiny spark of memory, mortality
What's left for me to do is to welcome you home
Back to my heart, back to heaven's light
Back to my heart, and we're never apart
And we're never apart'


it's sad to hear a tale where a guy tells a girl the reason why he broke up with the girl's bestfriend in the past. the he told her that it was his darkest moment, where he cried over the girl's bestfriend whose his ex-gf for 1 whole year, alone in sorrow. and there the girl, sitting beside him, listening to the story. the guy doesnt know that the girl likes him. like and not love. there's no jealousy the girl have in her heart. she realizes that she's a friend for him. but isn't everything starts from friendship first?. so she still listens to the guy's stories. on how his sorrow is. she felt a blank page is opened in her heart, she doesnt know what to feel, how to feel. she doesnt feel jealous, but somehow she's sad, she's scared, she's confused. the stories she listens to is about someone she know, someone close to her. and the person telling that stories is someone she likes now. although she knows that both the guy and her bestfriend has already get over everything they had before and moving on with their life, but she still feel that sadness. she's unsure if she wants to continue fight for him.

and when i listen to the story, i feel sad too. i couldnt imagine how to be in her position. must be damn sad, and frustating.
shit, emo-ing is the last thing i need now but it seriously sadden me.
the song above, hit me in the heart too.


be strong lovely girl,
if u decided not to fight for him anymore, dont stop believing in love like me,ok?
if u decided to keep ur fighting, have a little faith that whatever happen later, there's always a good reason for it. chayou ne!








haihz. okay then, now it's time to really wake up and say a very good morning to all.new years spirit in the go and let's start enjoying today!
counting down to midnite of 2009....



GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!