.....21:19
eyereen,eyereen....
yes sayang?
why do u call me sayang?
because i love u..
:)
eyereen,eyereen,eyereen...
how do u love calling my name?
i LOVE it!
shyila....
yes?
i like your name...
dont you like the person?
i like the name,i love the person..
eyereen..
?
will we have a happy ending like cinderella and the prince?
like snow white and the prince?
like every story with their prince..
like fiona and prince shrek too?
haha,yeah,like that too..
do u believe our happy ending?
yes.
then we shall have..
and your 'other' lover?
what's with him?
he cant be in our happy ending,can he?
why not?
coz' there's no place for another prince...
do u mind?
coz although there's no more place for him,he'll still be my prince..
so now u r a princess?the cinderella,the snow white and he's your prince?
i should mind,should i?but instead i dunno how to mind bout that..
im not a princess, you are my princess..
should i be happy for that?
only if u want to...
shyila,im sorry..for making u a princess between two..
im never in between,it's you that in the middle..
i am,a prince between a princess and another prince..
eyereen,do u ever want me?
with all my heart i so
but u dont have a full heart for me
just coz i split my feeling for 2 doesnt mean i cant love either of u with all my heart
so u do want me
as bad as i want him
he's a he for god's sake!
do i ever spit out that gender is a problem?
it should be,shouldnt it?
too bad not for me
why?
do u really think there's a concrete reason why some1 love some1?
there should be 1 at least
dear,i dont think so..
i think we dont need a reason to love some1,all we need is feeling and an open heart
that's all..
there's gotta be more than that!
then why do u love me?
why ur asking me why?
yes,coz i dont think there's any good reason for u to love a guy like me.
specially coz' i love a him too..
u said u r half..
what's d different?
it's abney anyway
when u said u r half,i found a hope there,
that maybe somewhen i dunno when ull love me completely
like a guy shud love a girl
just like u love him!
i love u like i love him..
which 1 is deeper?
isnt it clear enuff when i said i've split my heart into 2,
none is deeper,
both of u hav the whole of me..
cant u choose?
i can..
i choose to end this comversation and say goodnite to you..
i love you shyila,nite...
-disconnected-
eyereen,and there goes the love.
Friday, May 30, 2008
santa sing a happy new year early..
it was somewhere between christmas and new year.
it was when i was still furious with the new guy joleen always have on his head.
joleen's my bestfriend,still and always will.
it was because of joleen i knew you.
my eyereen now.
i still remembered how fascinated joleen was,
everytime he talks bout you.
i still remembered how his eyes would sparks,
when he said he has a new bestfriend.
someone whose smart,outgoing,super duper nice n click with him.
i should have been jealous of you.
you, out of nowhere could make joleen,someone i've known for years ever,got really exciting of his life.
but instead,as a good friend,
i was getting his excitement too.
i couldn't wait to actually meet you.
i was really curious of how good you were.
what kind of person are you can make my good friend here almost like flying so high above the sky. how good can you be as a friend?
it was somewhere between christmas and new year.
it was somewhere at night where cinderella has to rush back home.
it was a time where i never expected,ever, to meet someone who can make me feel as if i've met the one.
it was a time where i meet you.
and it was a time,i knew i'd fall and flew high at the same time.
it was the time a shyila meet an eyereen,
my eyereen now.
i couldn't remember how i acted that night.
i couldn't remember my expression.
must be really twirl up.
i couldn't even remember how it went.
but i do remember EVERYTHING.
i remember your brown jacket and white shirt beneath it.
i remember the smell of your perfume that hit me low.
i remember your smile.
joleen's smile as well.
i remember the way you shake my hand,
i remember the way you hold your cigarette,
i remember your smile.
it took every breath to keep it in my heart since that time.
i remember every way you treat me.
i remember the movie,the food,the road and the sky.
i remember your smile.
it somehow stuck in every bite of my memory capacity.
eyereen,you took me away that night.
far far a way to a land where all i know is,
your smile,your smell,your voice and your everything.
see?i knew it was you since that time.
i always know eyereen,
that you are for me,
to make me feel right,
to make me feel loved,
people say you just know how to treat girls right so that they all fall for you,but that's not why i fall for you.not why i love you.
it's because the way you make me feel like fully complete,
i love you not because who you are,
but because who i become when im with you.
the shyila i ever wanted all this time.
i love you because of me,
and i love me because of you.
eyereen,i love you..
been saying this too many times already
it was somewhere between christmas and new year,
i met you,i fell for you,and i totally into you.
now you're mine,
i'm yours,
he's yours too.
it was somewhere between christmas and new year,
i havent quit,not just yet.
eyereen,
till another time between christmas and new year..
it was when i was still furious with the new guy joleen always have on his head.
joleen's my bestfriend,still and always will.
my eyereen now.
i still remembered how fascinated joleen was,
everytime he talks bout you.
i still remembered how his eyes would sparks,
when he said he has a new bestfriend.
someone whose smart,outgoing,super duper nice n click with him.
i should have been jealous of you.
you, out of nowhere could make joleen,someone i've known for years ever,got really exciting of his life.
but instead,as a good friend,
i was getting his excitement too.
i couldn't wait to actually meet you.
i was really curious of how good you were.
what kind of person are you can make my good friend here almost like flying so high above the sky. how good can you be as a friend?
it was somewhere between christmas and new year.
it was somewhere at night where cinderella has to rush back home.
it was a time where i never expected,ever, to meet someone who can make me feel as if i've met the one.
it was a time where i meet you.
and it was a time,i knew i'd fall and flew high at the same time.
it was the time a shyila meet an eyereen,
my eyereen now.
i couldn't remember how i acted that night.
i couldn't remember my expression.
must be really twirl up.
i couldn't even remember how it went.
but i do remember EVERYTHING.
i remember your brown jacket and white shirt beneath it.
i remember the smell of your perfume that hit me low.
i remember your smile.
joleen's smile as well.
i remember the way you shake my hand,
i remember the way you hold your cigarette,
i remember your smile.
it took every breath to keep it in my heart since that time.
i remember every way you treat me.
i remember the movie,the food,the road and the sky.
i remember your smile.
it somehow stuck in every bite of my memory capacity.
eyereen,you took me away that night.
far far a way to a land where all i know is,
your smile,your smell,your voice and your everything.
see?i knew it was you since that time.
i always know eyereen,
that you are for me,
to make me feel right,
to make me feel loved,
people say you just know how to treat girls right so that they all fall for you,but that's not why i fall for you.not why i love you.
it's because the way you make me feel like fully complete,
i love you not because who you are,
but because who i become when im with you.
the shyila i ever wanted all this time.
i love you because of me,
and i love me because of you.
eyereen,i love you..
been saying this too many times already
it was somewhere between christmas and new year,
i met you,i fell for you,and i totally into you.
now you're mine,
i'm yours,
he's yours too.
it was somewhere between christmas and new year,
i havent quit,not just yet.
eyereen,
till another time between christmas and new year..
a wake up song
.manusia bodoh-ada band.
Dahulu terasa indah
Tak ingin lupakan
Bermesraan selalu jadi Satu kenangan manis
Tiada yang salah
Hanya aku manusia bodoh
Yang biarkan semua ini permainkanku
Berulang ulang kali
Reff :
Mencoba bertahan sekuat hati
Layaknya karang yang dihempas sang ombak
Jalani hidup dalam buai belaka
Serahkan cinta tulus di dalam takdir
Tak ayal tingkah lakumu
Buatku putus asa
Kadang akal sehat ini
Tak cukup membendungnya
Hanya kepedihan
Yang selalu datang menertawakanku
kau belahan jiwa
Tega menari indah di atas tangisanku
Bridge :
Semua kisah pasti ada akhir
Yang harus dilalui
Begitu juga akhir kisah ini
Yakinku indah
Tapi sampai kapankah kuharus
Menanggungnya kutukan cinta ini
Bersemayam dalam kalbu
eyereen,
until when should i stand with all this?
im a strong girl yet im not.
i love you,you love him.
i never know when will my crashing time come and take me down.
eyereen,
saya manusia bodoh,
saya membiarkan kamu menorehkan pedih itu.
pedih yang membuat saya tersenyum,
pedih yang membuat saya bahagia,
pedih yang membuat saya bertanya,apa arti semua kebahagiaan saya,
kalau masih ada dia,
kenapa saya masih bertahan?kenapa kamu minta saya tetap bertahan?
padahal kamu selalu bilang,
ga pernah ada harapan nyata untuk saya.
hanya kata cinta.
bahwa kamu juga sayang sama saya.
dan saya percaya.
sampai kapan?
pertanyaan yang membuat saya bertanya kenapa saya masih bertanya.
eyereen,
shyi love you.
but you also love him.
hanya aku manusia bodoh....
Dahulu terasa indah
Tak ingin lupakan
Bermesraan selalu jadi Satu kenangan manis
Tiada yang salah
Hanya aku manusia bodoh
Yang biarkan semua ini permainkanku
Berulang ulang kali
Reff :
Mencoba bertahan sekuat hati
Layaknya karang yang dihempas sang ombak
Jalani hidup dalam buai belaka
Serahkan cinta tulus di dalam takdir
Tak ayal tingkah lakumu
Buatku putus asa
Kadang akal sehat ini
Tak cukup membendungnya
Hanya kepedihan
Yang selalu datang menertawakanku
kau belahan jiwa
Tega menari indah di atas tangisanku
Bridge :
Semua kisah pasti ada akhir
Yang harus dilalui
Begitu juga akhir kisah ini
Yakinku indah
Tapi sampai kapankah kuharus
Menanggungnya kutukan cinta ini
Bersemayam dalam kalbu
eyereen,
until when should i stand with all this?
im a strong girl yet im not.
i love you,you love him.
i never know when will my crashing time come and take me down.
eyereen,
saya manusia bodoh,
saya membiarkan kamu menorehkan pedih itu.
pedih yang membuat saya tersenyum,
pedih yang membuat saya bahagia,
pedih yang membuat saya bertanya,apa arti semua kebahagiaan saya,
kalau masih ada dia,
kenapa saya masih bertahan?kenapa kamu minta saya tetap bertahan?
padahal kamu selalu bilang,
ga pernah ada harapan nyata untuk saya.
hanya kata cinta.
bahwa kamu juga sayang sama saya.
dan saya percaya.
sampai kapan?
pertanyaan yang membuat saya bertanya kenapa saya masih bertanya.
eyereen,
shyi love you.
but you also love him.
hanya aku manusia bodoh....
Thursday, May 29, 2008
the 12 o'clock prince
a 12 o'clock prince on the birthday day.
somewhere that night.
you've been avoiding me for weeks.
last time you called me,you said,
you couldn't make it for the birthday.
the birthday that just 1 day before yours.
weird,huh?
i keep asking myself why this rare things happen to me and you.
last time you called me,
you said you were going away for a while.
you were going to celebrate your birthday in your hometown,
with family n friends there.
owh,so im not a family nor a friends anymore to you?!
i kept asking myself. should i believe it?
i hardly believe your words,if only your mother didn't assure it to me through the phone that you were going home,i wouldn't have believed it. my inner voice kept trembling.
didnt you remember your promises?
that you were going to come
that you were going to be there at 12o'clock at night on my birthday.
that you were going to bring 20 roses equal to my age.
that you were also going to bring cheesecake for me.
have you forgotten it?
didn't you know how much i questioned myself enough just to know the answer,that i wished you would be there?
i lost all my energy somehow that week.
it was getting closer to my birthday,and you were still missing.
u didn't answer my messages,and
i have already exhausted for calling you with no answer.
my mood was destroyed.
that whole week i'd rather not facing people and be gone too.
but i somehow managed to survive.
how did i do that?
me wondering too..
and there you go another news.
all my best friends couldn't make it too for the birthday,
my family would be out of town,
and thanks to those going to classes obligation,
i'd be stuck in my house,alone with my own misery.
FINE.
no friends,no lovers,no family,and worse,i wish there wouldn't even be a birthday.
i called aimee,
aimee wasnt there.
she was busy.
instead of her, larry was calling.
he said he needed a place to stay for 1 night.
larry?yeap,larry..
your beloved little pet brother whose hardly mature and quite to be told to sit down for 5 minutes.
yes,that larry.
and yes,he was calling.
i know i sounded so desperate,
and lousy.
but i hav to admit that i did wish that he came just because you sent him to me as a distraction for your surprise.
but hey,was it too much for the wishes?
so i let him stayed for a night,with conditions,
no knocking on my door at 12,
no singing or
not even a cake for me.
i'm at my miserable point
and i liked to keep it that way.
plus,the next day (which was also your birthday),
i have some notes to study for presentation.
so that night i've decided to be as miserable as i could
and thrown myself into those notes,
just passed by that 12o'clock silently by actually slept early.
now ur talking bout desperate
did i do anything wrong?
nope,i didn't think so.
so that night,
larry was there,
i was there, studying in my room trying to get rid those thought of u came with flowers n cake.
geez,,eyereen..i missed you.for real.
a 12o'clock prince.
haha
yes, you were 1 of those.
you came, you bring red rose flower n the cheesecake.
you hide, you waited till the midnight bell rang.
then you surprised me at my door.
i've slept.i've gone with my dream.
but when there was a knock,i couldn't stand to not be awake.
i knew it wouldn't be larry
i knew it'd be you.
and im right.
u were standing there,
rose on your left n cheesecake on your right hand.
there weren't be 20 flowers but i didn't care anymore.
i knew it'd be you.
i never wrong. not when it comes to you.
u smiled,do u know how sweet it was?
it was sweeter than even mark westlife could afford it
"surprise surprise darling.."
and i didn't need any other things in this world to be literally real that time.
eyereen,
you made me cry,
you made me smile while crying,
you made me cry n smiled at ur hug.
eyereen....
i wish i could show you how grateful i was.
i wish i could tell you how thanked i was.
that you were there,you weren't lying,you proved yourself your promises.
now i'm here,writing this thing,
i know i'm being mellow,
but eyereen,
you are my 1st 12o'clock prince,
and you will always be the only 1.
even when everything's not there anymore.
eyereen,i love you,
do you?
my 12o'clock prince ever,eyereen.
somewhere that night.
you've been avoiding me for weeks.
last time you called me,you said,
you couldn't make it for the birthday.
the birthday that just 1 day before yours.
weird,huh?
i keep asking myself why this rare things happen to me and you.
last time you called me,
you said you were going away for a while.
you were going to celebrate your birthday in your hometown,
with family n friends there.
owh,so im not a family nor a friends anymore to you?!
i kept asking myself. should i believe it?
i hardly believe your words,if only your mother didn't assure it to me through the phone that you were going home,i wouldn't have believed it. my inner voice kept trembling.
didnt you remember your promises?
that you were going to come
that you were going to be there at 12o'clock at night on my birthday.
that you were going to bring 20 roses equal to my age.
that you were also going to bring cheesecake for me.
have you forgotten it?
didn't you know how much i questioned myself enough just to know the answer,that i wished you would be there?
i lost all my energy somehow that week.
it was getting closer to my birthday,and you were still missing.
u didn't answer my messages,and
i have already exhausted for calling you with no answer.
my mood was destroyed.
that whole week i'd rather not facing people and be gone too.
but i somehow managed to survive.
how did i do that?
me wondering too..
and there you go another news.
all my best friends couldn't make it too for the birthday,
my family would be out of town,
and thanks to those going to classes obligation,
i'd be stuck in my house,alone with my own misery.
FINE.
no friends,no lovers,no family,and worse,i wish there wouldn't even be a birthday.
i called aimee,
aimee wasnt there.
she was busy.
instead of her, larry was calling.
he said he needed a place to stay for 1 night.
larry?yeap,larry..
your beloved little pet brother whose hardly mature and quite to be told to sit down for 5 minutes.
yes,that larry.
and yes,he was calling.
i know i sounded so desperate,
and lousy.
but i hav to admit that i did wish that he came just because you sent him to me as a distraction for your surprise.
but hey,was it too much for the wishes?
so i let him stayed for a night,with conditions,
no knocking on my door at 12,
no singing or
not even a cake for me.
i'm at my miserable point
and i liked to keep it that way.
plus,the next day (which was also your birthday),
i have some notes to study for presentation.
so that night i've decided to be as miserable as i could
and thrown myself into those notes,
just passed by that 12o'clock silently by actually slept early.
now ur talking bout desperate
did i do anything wrong?
nope,i didn't think so.
so that night,
larry was there,
i was there, studying in my room trying to get rid those thought of u came with flowers n cake.
geez,,eyereen..i missed you.for real.
a 12o'clock prince.
haha
yes, you were 1 of those.
you came, you bring red rose flower n the cheesecake.
you hide, you waited till the midnight bell rang.
then you surprised me at my door.
i've slept.i've gone with my dream.
but when there was a knock,i couldn't stand to not be awake.
i knew it wouldn't be larry
i knew it'd be you.
and im right.
u were standing there,
rose on your left n cheesecake on your right hand.
there weren't be 20 flowers but i didn't care anymore.
i knew it'd be you.
i never wrong. not when it comes to you.
u smiled,do u know how sweet it was?
it was sweeter than even mark westlife could afford it
"surprise surprise darling.."
and i didn't need any other things in this world to be literally real that time.
eyereen,
you made me cry,
you made me smile while crying,
you made me cry n smiled at ur hug.
eyereen....
i wish i could show you how grateful i was.
i wish i could tell you how thanked i was.
that you were there,you weren't lying,you proved yourself your promises.
now i'm here,writing this thing,
i know i'm being mellow,
but eyereen,
you are my 1st 12o'clock prince,
and you will always be the only 1.
even when everything's not there anymore.
eyereen,i love you,
do you?
my 12o'clock prince ever,eyereen.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
note to self!
i love him,
he loves him.
im waiting,he still loves him.
im praying but he still loves him.
im begging..geez,there's still him that he loves.
im blind deaf dumb.
and worse,he still loves him.
note to self:saying *#@% wont change anything,he still loves him.
he loves him.
im waiting,he still loves him.
im praying but he still loves him.
im begging..geez,there's still him that he loves.
im blind deaf dumb.
and worse,he still loves him.
note to self:saying *#@% wont change anything,he still loves him.
my first 1..
i wrote this blog for my lovers..
i wrote all this coz of him,bout him,
i love my lovers,
eyereen is now my lover,
i love eyereen,but,
eyereen loves him too..
eyereen is a gay.
no,
a bipolar.
he said he loves me
he said he loves him too.
today is the day
i met him,i kiss him n i say goodbye to him.
he's leaving for hols.
he's going with him.
eyereen is a gay,
i love him!
he loves him!
eyereen,i miss u!
.shyi
i wrote all this coz of him,bout him,
i love my lovers,
eyereen is now my lover,
i love eyereen,but,
eyereen loves him too..
eyereen is a gay.
no,
a bipolar.
he said he loves me
he said he loves him too.
today is the day
i met him,i kiss him n i say goodbye to him.
he's leaving for hols.
he's going with him.
eyereen is a gay,
i love him!
he loves him!
eyereen,i miss u!
.shyi
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
