kangen cinaaa.......

271208,saturday morning.

hmm..bangun2 seperti biasa keingetan mimpi semalem. it was nothing special. but it made me keep thinking of some1 that's been in my head for quite sometimes. c cina.
haihz. i miss him. started from the day when i found out that we had been different that a separate distance has grown between us. and that somehow annoys me now. huhu.

i dreamt of him last nite. wasn't a really sweet dream i'd say. but it's succesfully made me missing him even worse. u know those stories when i said the wrong words bout our difference that we couldnt be together and there's no way we could make things happen. well, it was on my dream last nite. yeap, i dreamt him telling me that he was sad coz i said those things. he was sitting right next to me yet he was so far away. me and my friend were at his house. hanging out watching tv. when he sat beside me,i can feel his dissapointment. kayak seseorang yang pernah deket banget ma kita tiba2 menjauh. then after he told me his saddy thing, he went out to the terrace and i felt that i should explained everything to him. that i wasn't serious bout what i said about us. that i thought that nite conversation was a usual kidding around chat. that i thought he wouldnt be very dissapointed like he did now. and that since that nite i was so sad that distance grows between us and i missed him so much it sadden me even more.

so i went out to the terrace, following him. he was there standing and i spontanuosly went hugging him. 'kangeeeennnnnn....' i dont care whether he's angry to me or dissapointed or whatever. i just wanna hug him and show him how i miss him so much. cinaaa, kangen tau!ga peduli kamu lagi marah ato lagi kesel ma saya karena omongan saya yang salah waktu itu tapi saya kangen banget. and so i hug him. super tight. he smiled and said that he missed me too. but he could never said it to me coz he felt that i wouldnt miss him back. he kept himself away from me all this time coz he thought i didnt wanna continue being together with him. i almost cried when he said that. did u know that i wanted exactly the opposite?

mimpinya berlanjut terus tapi not in the mood of writing the rest of the details down. that's it. sisanya, saya mau simpen sendiri.

bangun2 langsung inget cina. jd kangen lg. it's seriously been a while since the last time we contacting each other. he didnt even reply the sms i sent him on Xmas. hmm, emang saya udah beneran sesalah itu ya ngomongnya ke dia. cinaaaa,waktu itu kan kita lagi becanda2 jd knapa siyh omongan saya dianggap serius?!?!?!sebbeeeeeellllll.....



cina!kangen tau ma kmu, kangen tau cerita2 bodoh lg, kangen tau ditemenin ngobrol sampe pagi2, kangen tau nyela2 lg, kangen tau ngeliat nama kamu muncul d hp, kangen bangeeeeeettttt ma kamu!emang semuanya harus berubah ya?emang semuanya harus selesai gtu aja ya?bahkan buat temenan jg ga bisa?
kamu sendiri tau,saya bukan tipikal orang yang bisa gampang gtu aja sayang ma orang, kmu sendiri tau butuh banyak waktu buat bikin saya bilang sayang ma orang. entah berapa banyak waktu yang dibutuhin tapi saya butuh waktu itu. kalo kamu emang pengen nyoba,kenapa ga bertahan? saya belum 'jatuh', but why dont u stay and make me?




time's running out and that i mite be moving on to somewhere far better place soon. i dont wanna lose you, but looking at our situation now, i mite not have thet regret in my heart too much to make me cry for u. i cant fall too fast, and no matter what,i will always move on.

saya cuma pengen bilang ma kamu, saya kangen banget ma kamu cina. entah karena kangennya udah bertumpuk dari kemaren2 ditambah mimpi tadi malem jdnya rasa kangennya meluap2. atau entah karena mungkin saya masih ngerasa bersalah karena malam itu dan omongan saya soal perbedaan yang bikin kamu jadi menjauh. entah yang mana cina, tap saya tau sekarang ini saya kangen kamu.






dan saya cuma pengen tau, am i feeling this way coz u r feeling similar thing too and do u feel what i feel?

cina,kangen banget ma kamu!i wish i had the courage to tell u.......