Tuesday, July 8, 2008

a blue note that aint blue

Shyila,
Ive decided.
I quit.
For good.
I don’t wanna be gay anymore,I wanna be cured.
I want to have a normal life like most people.


Im freakin tired,
Now I realized how exhausted I can be being stuck in the middle of two people I love most.
But im more tired seeing you hurted in your place when I should be the one who get all the pain. With you and with him,none is going to work out.

So I have to choose,
And I made my choice.
I quit on him and I will start a new one with you.
Only with you shyila,


Coz I found out,
Ive hurted u so much I couldn’t give u more than myself.

I finally hurted myself.
I didn’t get my happiness with him. Maybe it was because my selfishness or his too sky-scraping pride. Or maybe it was just because he and I didn’t meant for each other. Well,u couldn’t really ask much from a gayish teen relationship like that,could u? that,too,only if I still can be considered as teen.
Shit,now I realized im way older than my age I thought. I should have been mature by this age and yet here I am,acting like a teenager with their stupid love stories,hurting the person I should be protecting instead of being protected by her.

How ashamed I am!


Now I feel really bad,not because of my broken heart,but because I know how late I am to actually love you the way I should from the very first time I met you.


Im sorry shyila,
But I can assure you now that I will prove all my words ive said to you before,when I asked you to wait till this moment came.
And the moment has come.

Would u walk beside me now?
Would u hold my hand all the time?
Would u trust ur heart on me,shyila?

Ive chosen,
And I chose u…

.eyereen.

Ps:I know u love blue,that’s why I use blue for this note.i hope the answer,wont make me feeling blue. Note me back. :)

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