Eyereen,
I don’t know how to differentiate between pain and happiness now. I seriously don’t know. I don’t know when im sad or disappointed. Even worse, I don’t know when im glad or happy. Everythings so mixed up and I just don’t know anymore how to handle everything.
Eyereen,everything looks the same for me these days. I smile when im sad and cry when im happy. It’s weird,isn’t it?im both sad and happy for my life. While I could,I’d be willing to be the most miserable girl in this world. But thanks to you I always being portrayed as the happiest girl in this world. They don’t see my pain,they don’t see my tears and thankfully,they don’t see that im just faking it all.
Ive been lying now,for most of my life and to almost everyone. Ive been wearing this mask all the time just to show that everythings allright. Ive put a smile to ensure people you and me are the most perfect couple in this world. Those love songs,those sweet words,those nice picture….are they for real eyereen?
I have been putting all my effort to make this relationship works. to make you to be mine alone. But somehow I couldn’t find any selfish part of me to take you away from him. I feel worse when you cried coz you have a problem with him. I feel the deeper pain when you try to hurt yourself just because he hurt you. When
Eyereen,I foolishly love you.
I never regret all that I did. I never feel sorry for myself,I never feel bad. Coz I know eyereen,somehow,u know that I did all this because of you and there’s not even 1 single time where I regret myself for doing whatever ive done for you. I know you know exactly the reason why. i know you can read me,
So, ill know that you always know I love you,don’t you?
Eyereen,i cant let you go..
Not yet…
Ive prepared myself for whatever awaits me and you in front.
Im ready,
to go through any door and to go down any road with you..
Coz eyereen,as u know,
I love you.
A joyful tears,
Shyila.
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