“In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel. It hurt when I lost each of the various men I fell in love with. Now, though, I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.”
— Paulo Coelho
i wanna write something bout this later on coz now, my mood is far from good. today's just been a very bad day.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
a hope...
it starts with a dream and ends with hope.
earlier this morning i got that quote from my good friend as a reply to my post last night. wasnt really paying attention for it coz my eyes was hardly opened at that time due to my advance morning wake up. after a while staring at it then i started to get some ideas why he said that to me. well, basically coz it's suitable with my post and it's kinda true after all.
i bet everyone has dream, dreams, if i may say. whether it's to get a gorgeus rich and loveable boyfriend, to have some new cars, to get branded bags next week, to watch the new released movie, to go to europe, or a simple one as to receive a call from someone you love tonight. those are all dreams, and those are where we start everything. when you have a dream, you will start to dreaming about it every now and then, and you will start thinking how to make your dreams come true. and at the end, after all your hard work and your prayer, you will hope that all your effort paid and your dreams are becoming reality.
me?i believe in dreams. in fact, im a daydreamer myself. but sometimes, in this stupid little thing called life, not all our dreams come true. maybe only 30% of it become a real thing. but the rest, it will fade away by another dreams, ripped of by dissapointment for not succeed to make it come true, or simply vanished and forgotten. but i believe, when it ends with hope, we will start the circle of dream again and again. coz when we hope, we dream a dream to come true. quite complicated but when u know it, you'll know it's true.
these days ive been dreaming bout having baby, having a steady exciting work, having finished all my grandpa's bill and so on and so on. amongst those dream, i could say that the first three i mentioned just now are the one i dream most. hmm, maybe it is now becoming hope most already. each of those dreams represent something. i wouldnt mind explaining much bout it but i just dont feel like telling all the stories behind each of my dreams at this time. maybe by then i will write more than a dictionary pages can handle. haha.
but anyway, my simplest dream now? simply to have someone which is belong only to me. undivided and unseparable. maybe coz my life now full of someone with family who come and knock my little house in d heart and stay there for a while. im a human. i think it's normal to say im tired, right?. being in my position is NEVER easy. ever!. how can it be easy when you have to sit beside someone you love but you know he belongs to someone out there. how can it be simple to hold someone's hand and feel the shape of a ring in his sweet finger on your grip knowing that the ring doesnt refer to you, it refers to someone else out there. and tell me, how can it not be complicated to hug him, kiss him while knowing that the lips and the body you've been hugged and kissed is not yours alone, it's someone else's also. *sigh*
and so i dream of that someone who will belong to me only to come and hold my heart right. i dont need a virgin, vulgary said, coz i believe noone is. i just need a true-ers. the one who admit that a girl kissed, hugged, held, owned, had him before but no more now. now it's over and he's ready to sit beside me as mine. putting aside whoever was there before me. i dont mind second hand coz we're human and we taste things. :P
only for a while, i wanna sit beside you without thinking bout her out there, i wanna hold your hand without feeling the ring in your finger, i wanna hug and kiss you without being scared that her relatives or friends might find out and report it to her. i want that. i dream that. and im on the process of hoping that.
i dont ask for perfectness coz we are all imperfect. i just ask for a savior at the end of the day.
i hope we can go out having breakfast or lunch or dinner or just a short tea break together just to feel our own little selfish time. that im yours and you're mine. today i feel it and im happy. even the tiny thing still bothers me but im happy. i can be close to you and feel you right next to me. no other.
so there's one hope i avail now. as the quote said, it ends with hope.
i should end this now too. my eyes just wont compromise me anymore and my brain's wandering around too far now that i think my writing is a bit hard to understand what i want to say. haha. see what i mean now?.
anyway, gotta go sleep.
nice rest and good nite!
.eve
earlier this morning i got that quote from my good friend as a reply to my post last night. wasnt really paying attention for it coz my eyes was hardly opened at that time due to my advance morning wake up. after a while staring at it then i started to get some ideas why he said that to me. well, basically coz it's suitable with my post and it's kinda true after all.
i bet everyone has dream, dreams, if i may say. whether it's to get a gorgeus rich and loveable boyfriend, to have some new cars, to get branded bags next week, to watch the new released movie, to go to europe, or a simple one as to receive a call from someone you love tonight. those are all dreams, and those are where we start everything. when you have a dream, you will start to dreaming about it every now and then, and you will start thinking how to make your dreams come true. and at the end, after all your hard work and your prayer, you will hope that all your effort paid and your dreams are becoming reality.
me?i believe in dreams. in fact, im a daydreamer myself. but sometimes, in this stupid little thing called life, not all our dreams come true. maybe only 30% of it become a real thing. but the rest, it will fade away by another dreams, ripped of by dissapointment for not succeed to make it come true, or simply vanished and forgotten. but i believe, when it ends with hope, we will start the circle of dream again and again. coz when we hope, we dream a dream to come true. quite complicated but when u know it, you'll know it's true.
these days ive been dreaming bout having baby, having a steady exciting work, having finished all my grandpa's bill and so on and so on. amongst those dream, i could say that the first three i mentioned just now are the one i dream most. hmm, maybe it is now becoming hope most already. each of those dreams represent something. i wouldnt mind explaining much bout it but i just dont feel like telling all the stories behind each of my dreams at this time. maybe by then i will write more than a dictionary pages can handle. haha.
but anyway, my simplest dream now? simply to have someone which is belong only to me. undivided and unseparable. maybe coz my life now full of someone with family who come and knock my little house in d heart and stay there for a while. im a human. i think it's normal to say im tired, right?. being in my position is NEVER easy. ever!. how can it be easy when you have to sit beside someone you love but you know he belongs to someone out there. how can it be simple to hold someone's hand and feel the shape of a ring in his sweet finger on your grip knowing that the ring doesnt refer to you, it refers to someone else out there. and tell me, how can it not be complicated to hug him, kiss him while knowing that the lips and the body you've been hugged and kissed is not yours alone, it's someone else's also. *sigh*
and so i dream of that someone who will belong to me only to come and hold my heart right. i dont need a virgin, vulgary said, coz i believe noone is. i just need a true-ers. the one who admit that a girl kissed, hugged, held, owned, had him before but no more now. now it's over and he's ready to sit beside me as mine. putting aside whoever was there before me. i dont mind second hand coz we're human and we taste things. :P
only for a while, i wanna sit beside you without thinking bout her out there, i wanna hold your hand without feeling the ring in your finger, i wanna hug and kiss you without being scared that her relatives or friends might find out and report it to her. i want that. i dream that. and im on the process of hoping that.
i dont ask for perfectness coz we are all imperfect. i just ask for a savior at the end of the day.
i hope we can go out having breakfast or lunch or dinner or just a short tea break together just to feel our own little selfish time. that im yours and you're mine. today i feel it and im happy. even the tiny thing still bothers me but im happy. i can be close to you and feel you right next to me. no other.
so there's one hope i avail now. as the quote said, it ends with hope.
i should end this now too. my eyes just wont compromise me anymore and my brain's wandering around too far now that i think my writing is a bit hard to understand what i want to say. haha. see what i mean now?.
anyway, gotta go sleep.
nice rest and good nite!
.eve
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